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Meet them where they are



"Raymond".

This song and video is so powerful it can bring you to tears, especially if you have a loved one living with this disease. There are also some very important lessons to take away from the song lyrics.


We want to meet our loved ones wherever they are-and if that's 1943, it is ok. We cannot bring them into 2023 or into the realities we are living in, so we have to go where they are and this can be very difficult.


Once I was talking with a son who had a mom living with the disease and he said that every time he would visit his mom she would tell him about the beautiful sailboats that were outside her window. He told me there were no sailboats, only a field of grass for as long as you can see. Instead of correcting her though, he would ask her to tell him about the sailboats and she would go on and on about them, very animated and excited. This is a perfect example of what I mean. In this instance, he got to hear his mom's voice and she was very happy telling him about the boats-it didn't matter what they were talking about.


Likewise, in this song, it didn't matter that she thought it was 1943 or that Brett was her son, Raymond. Brett met her where she was just like the son met his mom where she was. This isn't lying it is entering their reality and leaving them with a positive feeling.


The ability for our loved ones to feel their own feelings as well as read other peoples feelings are one of the last things to go, which makes this very important. This is another thing we see and hear in this song. When Brett was going along with the fact that he was her son Raymond, she was feeling so happy to see him every day and that's the objective. He wasn't lying to her, he didn't go to her and tell her he was her son, he just met her where she was and didn't correct her.


This can be hard, but it's ok. Please don't be hard on yourself if you haven't been doing this; we do better when we know better, so as you learn things just try to make small changes. ♥️

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Unknown member
Apr 27, 2023

I'm not crying, you are. Okay, I am crying. I try to be with my Mom wherever she is in time. It's not always easy. I feel for my kids (ages 12, 14) who hardly remember my Mom when she didn't have Alzheimer's. Not the memories for them I was hoping for. They sure have learned a lot and roll with it when we visit Grandma though. 💜

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